Update

[lierdumoa]

Today I finally moved all my vids to my new website, which at this point is little more than webspace. Right now I'm uploading some vids to imeem.

Other plans for before I go to bed:
- finish clipping
- finish beta'ing toft_froggy's vid
- panic in the general direction of After Effects

In other news, the Indian guy? Who thought netspeak and referring to me in the diminutive was sexxi? TOTALLY STALKING ME.

Called me fourteen times, ten of which were after I told him to stop calling me.

Okay, to provide context, I was an avoidant h0r and never RSVP'd on that date I almost went on. So he calls me three times Saturday night, which I didn't realize until after the fact. My phone was kind of drowned out by Resident Evil playing in the background w/ dvd commentary.

Which, btw, AWESOME COMMENTARY, and thanks to fembuck for the recc. Mila Jovovich is such a goddamn rock star. She does up her hair all crazy and runs around flashing the camera and BEATING PEOPLE. IN ALL HER MOVIES. THE WOMAN IS, LIKE, INCAPABLE OF PULLING PUNCHES. For real. If you see her punching someone in a movie. Chances are she did, in fact, actually punch them.

But back to my stalker.

So Sunday night he calls me for the fourth time. I answer the phone. That date I never RSVP'd on? Apparently he showed up anyway, despite my not having responded to his e-mail. And waited for two hours. So I'm like. Oh. That sucks. I'm sorry for making you wait. I should have told you I wasn't going to make it. But well, I'm not really interested in meeting you.

him: Can I see you some other time?
lierdumoa No, I'm sorry, I'm not interested.
him: But we blah blah restaurant blah blah hang out.
lierdumoa I'm sorry. I don't know what to tell you. I'm not interested.
him: No, please, I would just like to talk with you. Why the sudden change of heart. (I'm approximating here, since his English is not all that great)
lierdumoa I just don't want to see you. (is this conversation still seriously going on?)
him: I don't understand. (okay, now you're just abusing the language barrier to pretend you don't know what the fuck I'm saying)
him: No, please, tell me what is wrong. If there's something that is bothering you.
lierdumoa I'm fine. I just don't want to date you
him: No, no! Not date! I just want to be friends.
lierdumoa :|
lierdumoa I don't want to be friends with you either.
him: No, please, why are you not interested.
lierdumoa I don't actually owe you an explanation.
him: If there's a problem, please tell me. If something's going on with you—
lierdumoa I'm going to go now. ::hangs up::

::phone rings ominously::

lierdumoa Okay, I'm going to say this again. ::deep breath::
lierdumoa I'm sorry for not telling you that I had changed my mind. I honestly didn't think you'd show up since I didn't RSVB.
him: No, no, it's fine—
lierdumoa But I'm not interested in you. I'm going to hang up the phone now. I'd appreciate it if you'd stop calling me.

At which point I started calling up friends to share this surprising new turn in my imaginary sex life.

spaggel: Hello?
lierdumoa Dude, I have a stalker.
lierdumoa You remember the Indian guy I talked about on my journal. He won't stop calling me.
::phone beeps::
lierdumoa He's calling me right now.
spaggel: I have a stalker at work.
spaggel: This guy names Johnny.
lierdumoa I'm sorry.
spaggel: My boss was like, "Someone has a crush on you!"
spaggel: I was like, "Johnny?"
spaggel: She was all "How did you guess?"
::phone beeps AGAIN::
lierdumoa Make him stop calling me Syd. MAKE HIM STOP CALLING ME.
spaggel: You want me to beat him up for you? I'll beat him up for you. No one touches my woman.
lierdumoa So, you were telling me about Johnny.
spaggel: And he has this creepy obsession with Calvin Klein shoes. (she works in the shoe department) He'll just, like, caress the shoes in front of me, it's so creepy.
lierdumoa Dude, that is creepy.
spaggel: I know, seriously! I was like "having fun caressing those shoes, Johnny?"
spaggel: And he was all, "What would you do if I caressed you?"
spaggel: And I told him, "I would PUNCH YOU IN THE FACE."
lierdumoa ::BUSTS UP LAUGHING::
spaggel: I was all, "And you'd go down to, because, you know, you're top heavy."
lierdumoa And he's still after you?
spaggel: YES.
lierdumoa Maybe he's an idiot and he thought you were kidding.
spaggel: I WASN'T KIDDING!
lierdumoa I know you weren't. I'm not an idiot.

-later-
lierdumoa You know the Indian guy? He's kind of stalking me now. He won't stop calling.
fashes: Can I threaten him for you?
lierdumoa I can handle it.
fashes: I know you can. I just want to.
::phone rings::
fashes: Is that him again.
lierdumoa Yes. YES IT IS. FUCKING STALKER.

-later-
otherroommate: So the restaurant is where?
fashes: Three blocks down the street, ottherroommate.
otherrommate: I just don't want us to miss each other, you know. I don't want to get lost and then miss him because I end up twenty minutes late, you know.
lierdumoa: (mutters under breath) Maybe you won't miss him. Maybe he'll wait for two hours because he's a crazy stalker.
fashes: ::guffaws::
otherrommate: You guys are making fun of me aren't you.
fashes: No otherrommate, we think it's adorable, you getting all worried about your date.
otherroomate: ::looks skeptical::

-later-
lierdumoa I'm making food.
spaggel: I'm eating delicious chicken salad with—
lierdumoa Stop talking about food while I'm hungry.
spaggel: —little pieces of nuts and romaine lettuce and—
lierdumoa I hate you.
spaggel: Yeah, well, this is what you get for hating me.
lierdumoa Dude, he called like two more times while you weren't here.
spaggel: Give me his number.
lierdumoa No, fashes has dibs.
spaggel: Yeah, but I've known you longer. I've got dibs on you.
lierdumoa You might have a point. I mean, if I give her his number she can threaten him, but if I gave you his number, you could totally tell him, "Stop calling my girlfriend or I will hunt you down."
spaggel: Is he still calling?
lierdumoa No, I think he stopped for the night.
spaggel: Time for stalkers to go beddie-bye?
lierdumoa I guess so.


He called me three more times yesterday night. He hasn't called tonight. It's possible he finally caught a clue.

Comments

[iibnf.livejournal.com]

Argh! Indian guys chase me in the streets because I won't go out with them. They make me nervous.

[poisontaster]

*snorts and points fingers* You TOTALLY WIN at stalkerz.

::DIBS::

[fashes.livejournal.com]

Yes, threaten him and make his balls crawl up into his body so they don't have to hear the shrill sound of my voice MAKING THEM ESSPLODE.

[boniblithe.livejournal.com]

He wants you to give him a mean reason so that he has an excuse to go off on you and call you bad names. I have seen this before. On the one hand, it can be quite entertaining. But ... meh, who has time for that.

[jackiekjono.livejournal.com]

Indians can get really goofy when it comes to the American concept of dating. In some traditional Indian families, girls aren't supposed to actually talk to boys if they can help it. If they do, some neighbor will probably see it and report them to their parents.

Because they aren't supposed to talk to each other, a lot is made of more subtle signals like a glance, gesture or smile of the sort Americans would barely notice and then there is the big internal angst thing.

(At least, this is what one Indian girl explained to me when I expressed consternation at another Indian friend's obsession with some VMI boy named Tim who had made the mistake of speaking to her breifly at an Intervarsity Christian Fellowship Meeting.)

Isn't multiculturalism fun?

[diluvian.livejournal.com]

Dude, you have an entire posse of fangirls you can unleash on his ass.

Sign me up.

I figure we could set up a round-robin of phone calls:

Spaggel: I WILL HURT YOU.
Fashes: PH34R ME.
Diluvian: Ever file a United States tax return? Wanna be audited within an inch of your life? Have you heard about the various government agencies who'd be mighty interested in hearing you're harrassing a US citizen?

Heh.