lierdumoa | A Brief, Yet Thorough Introduction to Fall Out Boy RPS (Reply)

You know you want to read this post.

Reeeeeaaaaad iiiiiit.

This is Fall Out Boy.

Fall Out Boy is a band. All its members are full of whimsy.

This is Pete Wentz.

Pete Wentz is a BNF. He is perhaps more commonly referred to as a celebrity, but this is a misnomer. His BNF-hood is clearly evidenced in his spending truly hideous amounts of time on the internet (as one would expect of your average fen), for the most part ~~replying to comments~~ answering questions from his fans. He has also been publicly shamed for having been caught ~~wanking~~ no wait, that was the right word after all—wanking in what he thought was a ~~flocked post~~ private cell phone conversation. Yeah, I'm not providing the links for that. Look it up your damn self.

Aside from being a BNF, Pete is also the lyricist, bassist and back up vocalist for Fall Out Boy.

This is Patrick Stump.

Patrick is the lead vocalist. He also writes the music and plays guitar.

Occasionally Patrick is smoking hot. For example, in these|live|performances posted to YouTube, where his face is compelling and expressive and he sounds like he spent the half hour before curtain call sucking cock (or, you know, like he has a cold, but I like my version better). For the most part, though, he is adorable and soft in the middle. Too many pancakes on tour, methinks. Verdammen das waffelhausen. Anyway, Pete still loves him.

Really. Really loves him.

Loves him like burning.

But before I get too distracted.

These are Andy and Joe.

In that order.

Andy is the drummer. In addition to being a drummer, Andy is a crazy vegan hippi. He did an interview with PETA. He has many colorful tattoos, and often performs shirtless. He is surprisingly difficult to find decent pictures for, outside of group photos. Andy is also a fan of genre tv. And Friday Night Lights. Discuss.

Joe is another guitarist. Sometimes he grows his hair out, and can be easily identified by his wannabe Jewfro. He is also the only member of the band who drinks or does ~~non-prescription~~ drugs. He thinks being a rock star is awesome, particularly since Pete manages to hog all the misery of rock stardom to himself and Joe only gets the good bits, like being able to flail around like a crazy man on stage (he once injured Pete doing this).

They're good people.

But back to Pete Wentz loving Patrick Stump like burning. See, on the official Fall Out Boy website is a Q & A page. Fans ask questions. Pete answers them.

Pete's answers are full of humor and whimsy. ~~Gay, gay whimsy.~~

[] asked by RockStarxFobxLovexx on 2007-03-22

Pete, on a poster my friend gave me, i noticed somethign written on your hand but couldn't figure it out. me and my friend stared at it all through world history (the class) and couldnt tell if it was an address or number. (and it wasn't a tattoo). so could you help us out here? much love xx

[] answered by peter on 2007-03-22

it was the directions to patricks house, actually even more specific the directions to the zipper of his pants. hope this helps. ill meet ya there!

[] asked by Kelsey on 2006-09-06

so i couldn't help but notice Patricks bulge in various pictures...just how sweet is that boys package?

[] answered by peter on 2006-09-06

semi-sweet, but when you put it in cookies it bakes well

And he really loves Patrick.

[] asked by Angela on 2006-12-25

Hey is it true that Patrick is getting married,because on Buzznet rumors have been going around. -Angelaxo

[] answered by peter on 2006-12-25

nope. we arent getting married till we hit vermont. its just not legal baby

He brings up Patrick even when the questions have nothing to do with him.

[] asked by Katie Parker on 2006-09-15

Pete, you have a gorgeous smile, did you have braces? And would it be worth it to get an overbite fixed?

[] answered by peter on 2005-08-09

my best friend has a crazy underbite and he is cute as a button

[] asked by Mikayla on 2006-09-01

Pete, were you nervous when you acceped your award?

[] answered by peter on 2005-08-02

i was nervous that weeman was not going to return with my patrick.

He comes up with crackfic ideas.

[] asked by Aura on 2006-03-13

Heey , I am confused. I thought you wrote all of the songs?? Well i love the songs no matter what =D

[] answered by peter on 2006-03-14

i write the lyrics. patrick writes the music. we are in love and live in a castle in the sky. our next door neighbors are carebears. grumpy bear has a baditude. but i still heart him. i hope your life is as magical as ours is.

And yes, he knows what fic is.

[] asked by orangecrush070 on 2007-03-26

if you had to choose one of your band members to have sex with, who would it be? and which one of the panic! guys?

[] answered by peter on 2007-03-26

do you really need me to help you write "slash"

Did I mention he loves Patrick?

[] asked by Renee on 2005-05-11

Why did patrick suck balls on FUSE?

[] answered by peter on 2005-05-11

that kid is my bestfriend, i don't care if you're a girl i'd still punch you in the mouth if you said that to my face. have a nice day.

No, I am not shitting you. You may go see for yourself. Some of these are gone from the website, but there are plenty more where they came from.

Pictures gathered from Buzznet Inc. and IMDb. See also Fall Out Boy on Wikipedia.

Fanfiction Recommendations

In categories, for your convenience.

[] Straight Up Crack

And the Moon in Their Net by iphiginia939
Pete's a faerie.
"Yeah, I know," Patrick said. "I've seen the guys you sneak into club bathrooms with, man." How was this news?

"No, not--" Pete shook his head. "Not that kind of faerie," he said. "The kind from Shakespeare. You know, with the magical powers and Oberon and Titania and, you know. Whatever." He looked faintly embarrassed.
Just Like Virginia Woolf by iphiginia939
Patrick undergoes spontaneous genderswitch.
"I don't know why I expected someone to just come over and pick me up."

"Because," Pete said, not even thinking about it, "you're hot, that's why. That's how hot girls think. Dumbass."
Not a Big Deal by lovelypoet
Pete and Patrick have a connection.
He's pretty sure Pete still hasn't noticed.

"You've noticed we're psychic, right?" Pete says, idly plunking out a few notes on his bass during a break at practice. Of course, it's always possible Patrick's wrong.
Damage Control by kosher_pareve
Friends help you move. Real friends ... something, something.
“Well,” Patrick says carefully, looking from Pete to the bed, then back at Pete. “Shit.”

“Yeah,” Pete agrees. Then, after a beat, “You got any more of those gummi worms?”
Problem Solving; or: An Idiot’s Guide to Falling out of Love by kosher_pareve
Patrick has an inconvenient crush.
“Hey Mikey, it’s me. I know we haven’t talked in a while—oh, and by ‘me,’ I mean ‘Patrick’—but. Well, I kind of had this—oh, Patrick Stump, by the way, just in case you didn’t recognize my voice. Anyway, I kind of had this dream last night, and, uh, I think I might have a little crush on Pete. And I figured, since you’ve—Pete Wentz, now—since you’ve been there, so to speak, I figured you might be able to give me some advice.”
Trade Baby Blues for Wide-Eyed Browns by provetheworst
Bodyswapping.
"Okay, that's gross." Patrick says, and it takes him a while to think of how to say it without sounding too creepy, "Don't ... jerk my body off. Just don't."

Pete shrugs. "You gots needs."

[] With a Side of Crack

Bare Essentials by iphiginia939
It's a detective AU and a stripper AU.
"Look," Pete said flatly. "You don't like me. I get that--"

"I said hi and you called me fat," Patrick said, just as flatly. "Do you want a hug, too?"
untitled by lovelypoet
BtVS crossover.
Xander sits down. The page he's looking for is right at the top of the favorites menu.... http://www6.falloutboyrock.com/falloutboy/q_and_a_ask_form.php

"Dear Pete," he writes after filling in the age verification page, thereby confirming that he is far too old to be doing this. "Hi. Please stop being such a whiny emo bastard in public on the world wide web.
Late Night With by kosher_pareve
Pete learns new things.
“I kind of maybe have a crush on Conan O’Brien.”

Peter freezes mid-bite, staring at Patrick in shock.
Undiscovered Country by kosher_pareve
Pete suffers.
Pete totally respects Patrick as a human being and appreciates him for his many fine intellectual qualities and yadda fucking yadda. It’s just that Pete also respects and truly, deeply, genuinely appreciates the way Patrick’s legs look in the tighter jeans he’s started wearing lately.
Polite Inquiries by kosher_pareve
A coming out story.
He loved My Chemical Romance, he really did. Thought they were all incredible musicians and genuinely nice guys. But there was just something about Gerard that freaked him the fuck out.
The Songs and the Words
Pete really likes it when patrick sings.
It wasn't the first time Patrick sang for him, or even the second or third, because if it had been, Pete might have done something stupid like quit the band or pushed Patrick down onto his back and kissed him. But no, it wasn't until Patrick was sitting in Pete's room, going through the list of songs he'd taught himself to play, that Pete made the fatal mistake of saying, "Sure, sing Love Will Tear Us Apart, that's a great song," and then Patrick, well, sang it, and Pete felt Patrick's voice go straight down through his spine and settle below the waist of his jeans. Patrick sang, and Pete listened, and got possibly the most inconvenient hard-on of his entire life up to that point.
Act As a Clever Medicine by ficbyzee
Sex pollen.
Patrick sits on his hands and bites his lip. It's just the combination of being cold, wet, plus jittery and tired from days of touring and too much caffeine. He really just wants to get back to the hotel room, dry off and go to sleep.

Correction. He wants to get back to the hotel room, shower and take care of his erection, and then go to sleep.

[] Soap Opera Epics

My Epistolary Romance by iphiginia939
Patrick makes the first move. Pete turns him down. Then he changes his mind.
Finally, Patrick says, “I am not having sex with you in the back of this van.”

“That’s what all the boys say,” Pete says, and kisses him again.
A Stitch Away from Making it (A Scar Away From Falling Apart) by femmequixotic
Pete is infamous.
Patrick gave up bookmarking the pages. Instead he searched for a standalone file on one of the fansites and downloaded it to his iPod. It was crazy and sick and he knew it.

But at one-thirty in the morning when he was horny as fuck and thinking about Pete, lying across the hall, he didn't care.
Hold Off Your Bets Now by ficbyzee
Pete's been keeping rather large secrets.
Patrick raises an eyebrow. "You deflower people just by looking at them. Anyway, as touched as I am that you're protecting my virtue, I don't really have much virtue to protect."

"Are you kidding, Patrick Stump? You're 99% Virtue." Pete grins, and nuzzles Patrick's neck. "99% Virtue, 1% sugar and spice."

[] The Cute

Internal Consistency by iphiginia939
Pete gets caught staring.
After a minute, Pete rolled himself up onto his elbow. "I don't know how to read you sometimes, Patrick." He still sounded a little breathless. "Six years and nothing--"

"You didn't say anything!" Patrick said. "And by the way, great job on telling me through the cunning use of hand gestures."
A Five Letter Word Meaning Ardor iphignia939
Patrick is a nubile young teenager with a crush.
"I'm fine," Patrick says quickly. His hands are sweaty fists in the blanket, his dick wants to know what the hell's with the loss of signal, and Pete's staring at him like he's a science experiment. There are not enough curse words in the *world* for this.
Dare by iphiginia939
Pete kisses boys.
"Patrick," she said, leaning her head on her arm and looking at him, "can you do me one eensy-weensy favor? Won't take a minute."

Say no, Pete thought at him. Say. No.
Treasured by megyal
Pete is a dragon. Yeah, crack, but the cute wins out.
How to cheer up a dragon? Flatter the hell out of them...just don't be obvious about it. That shit is harder than it sounds. I know.

("Yeah, of course that colour is nice on you. Very flattering to...your ass. And such."

"Dude, since when have you been watching my ass? And if you really were watching, you'd notice I have none."
Volume I by kosher_pareve
Patrick makes Pete a mixed tape.
“Here,” Patrick said without preamble, handing him a shoebox. “I made you something on the, uh. On the last tour.”

Peter accepted the box with a questioning glance, clued in by Patrick’s stuttering that the innocuous looking Saucony label hid something Truly Important. He opened the lid. And stared.
Hard to Do by kosher_pareve
Patrick tries to end things. And fails.
“I thought you guys broke up?”

Peter flicks him off, but Patrick is too busy pondering the logistics of hiring some sort of private breakup tutor to respond with more than an absent nod and a half-hearted scowl.
Straight On 'Til Morning by the_jenmark
Pete has a list.
Too damn tired to go to my own bunk, Pete murmurs, and Patrick pats what he can reach (an arm and a small patch of hip) with affection and a little amusement.

(Fact #98 is: Patrick likes his personal space. With most people.)
There's Probably a Reason I Love You, I'll Get Back to You on That by sidereal
A series of drabblettes.
"C'mon. We're gonna fuck," he says cheerfully, and Patrick pauses to raise an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, Pete. Speak your sweet nothings to me some more."
You In Each Frame by daybreak25
Groundhog Day.
He's close enough to kiss -- and God, Pete really does want to. He nips at Patrick's ear instead.

"What're you doing?" Patrick is sleepy, and scrubs his eyes and yawns, but doesn't move.

"Shush. Teddy bears don't talk." Pete goes to sleep.