![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lierdumoaTitle: The Poor Man's Leo, and other Nonsequiters
Fandom: CW RPF
Character/Pairing: Jared; gen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jared thinks deep thoughts. 631 wds.
Disclaimer: I am not psychically channelingElijah Wood Jared Padalecki.
A/N: I wrote this in the waiting room of a dentist's office.
Jared likes how the internet has taken to referring to his eyes at catlike. It's a whole lot more flattering than the “beady” descriptor his older brother inflicted on him at the beginning of middle school, when he grew up enough for his face to lose the anime-cute mask of youth. He likes to lord it over Jensen, sometimes. Jensen gets “ducklips.” Jared gets “catlike.” Only in his head, though, because if he tried lording it over Jensen out loud, Jensen would just roll his eyes and silently judge him.
Not that Jensen doesn't silently judge him anyway, but he's usually nice enough to not be super-obvious about it. Like how he doesn't say anything about Jared being friends with Chad. Well, except that time Jared asked him for his informed opinion. Jen had replied, after some deep thinking and a slow breath, “I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt provided the contagion factor of his personality with respect to you continues to be inversely proportional to the contagion factor of his various bodily fluids.” Which was Jen's incredibly pretentious and oblique way of saying, “dude, it's not like I have to be friends with the guy.”
Or, at least, that's the translation Jen gave him when Jared just stared blankly at him after receiving his first response. Jared's invested in a pocket thesaurus since then.
Chad has the same kind of impish, vaguely childlike, vaguely androgynous good looks the gods gifted Leonardo DiCaprio, which he of course tries to disguise with a buzzcut, a hideous goatee and a good many hours slaving away at the gym. Well, actually, that last one's mostly a side-effect of having found gainful employment at the CW, formerly the WB. A waxed chest and an eight pack are par fo the course. Jared still remembers the days when they used to have that Alyssa Milano cardboard standup in the lobby of the LA office with the words, “you must be this hot to ride this ride.”
Which was a dirty lie, because no way was Chad ever as hot as Alyssa Milano, and they still hired that douchebag. But, well he's not about to fight that out with fangirls on the internet so. Yeah. Jared had a point here somewhere.
Okay, no, not really.
Jared loves that despite growing out his hair and shaving his face baby smooth and building his career on the development of a truly massive repertoire of soulful looks and emo sighing he still out-mans Chad without even trying, and that's without even taking into consideration Jared's eleven inch dick.
Thing is, whatever else you'll say about Chad, the guy can act. He almost makes One Tree Hill worth watching (or, actually, no, not even because the show is that fucking bad). He's the only thing in House of Wax with any depth whatsoever, and Jared's man enough to take second billing in that one. He rewatched it the other day and started thinking it'd be hot if Chad's character and the chick playing his sister would just stop with the bickering and make out already. He chalked it up to reading too much wincest on livejournal, changed the channel to some college football and banned himself from the internet for the next week.
He really hopes this doesn't turn out to be one of those embarrassing rambling stream-of-consciousness “guess what I did last weekend, besides nothing, I mean” stories he blurts out to Jensen when he's drunk. Jensen silently judges him enough without knowing he fucking reads fucking wincest on livejournal. At least he hasn't been reduced to trolling around making anonymous comments, which he figures puts him one step above Pete Wentz on the sliding scale of celebrity navelgazing.
Fandom: CW RPF
Character/Pairing: Jared; gen
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Jared thinks deep thoughts. 631 wds.
Disclaimer: I am not psychically channeling
A/N: I wrote this in the waiting room of a dentist's office.
Jared likes how the internet has taken to referring to his eyes at catlike. It's a whole lot more flattering than the “beady” descriptor his older brother inflicted on him at the beginning of middle school, when he grew up enough for his face to lose the anime-cute mask of youth. He likes to lord it over Jensen, sometimes. Jensen gets “ducklips.” Jared gets “catlike.” Only in his head, though, because if he tried lording it over Jensen out loud, Jensen would just roll his eyes and silently judge him.
Not that Jensen doesn't silently judge him anyway, but he's usually nice enough to not be super-obvious about it. Like how he doesn't say anything about Jared being friends with Chad. Well, except that time Jared asked him for his informed opinion. Jen had replied, after some deep thinking and a slow breath, “I'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt provided the contagion factor of his personality with respect to you continues to be inversely proportional to the contagion factor of his various bodily fluids.” Which was Jen's incredibly pretentious and oblique way of saying, “dude, it's not like I have to be friends with the guy.”
Or, at least, that's the translation Jen gave him when Jared just stared blankly at him after receiving his first response. Jared's invested in a pocket thesaurus since then.
Chad has the same kind of impish, vaguely childlike, vaguely androgynous good looks the gods gifted Leonardo DiCaprio, which he of course tries to disguise with a buzzcut, a hideous goatee and a good many hours slaving away at the gym. Well, actually, that last one's mostly a side-effect of having found gainful employment at the CW, formerly the WB. A waxed chest and an eight pack are par fo the course. Jared still remembers the days when they used to have that Alyssa Milano cardboard standup in the lobby of the LA office with the words, “you must be this hot to ride this ride.”
Which was a dirty lie, because no way was Chad ever as hot as Alyssa Milano, and they still hired that douchebag. But, well he's not about to fight that out with fangirls on the internet so. Yeah. Jared had a point here somewhere.
Okay, no, not really.
Jared loves that despite growing out his hair and shaving his face baby smooth and building his career on the development of a truly massive repertoire of soulful looks and emo sighing he still out-mans Chad without even trying, and that's without even taking into consideration Jared's eleven inch dick.
Thing is, whatever else you'll say about Chad, the guy can act. He almost makes One Tree Hill worth watching (or, actually, no, not even because the show is that fucking bad). He's the only thing in House of Wax with any depth whatsoever, and Jared's man enough to take second billing in that one. He rewatched it the other day and started thinking it'd be hot if Chad's character and the chick playing his sister would just stop with the bickering and make out already. He chalked it up to reading too much wincest on livejournal, changed the channel to some college football and banned himself from the internet for the next week.
He really hopes this doesn't turn out to be one of those embarrassing rambling stream-of-consciousness “guess what I did last weekend, besides nothing, I mean” stories he blurts out to Jensen when he's drunk. Jensen silently judges him enough without knowing he fucking reads fucking wincest on livejournal. At least he hasn't been reduced to trolling around making anonymous comments, which he figures puts him one step above Pete Wentz on the sliding scale of celebrity navelgazing.
