Aaaaagh!

[lierdumoa]

Ugh. I just had the worst conversation with my mom. I got to tell her how I completely fucked up my first semester at college. Completely. And of course she was like, "you have to be more mature." And then, her very next sentence was "you should have called us more so we could have helped you though this." Dude. Mature people? Don't run to mommy with all their problems. And also -- I hate calling my mother. I hate talking to her. She acts like she needs to tell me how to do everything or I'll become an utter failure. She tells me I need to dress better. And really, I do look like a total bum most of the time, but I like it that way. Aaaaaaagh! And of course she said how she was all dissappointed in me. I wanted to scream "I'm dissappointed in me, and I don't give a fuck if you're dissappointed in me because your opinion doesn't matter. Ever. My going to college isn't about you." And it really isn't. My parents keep trying to hang over my head the fact that they're paying the bills. Well fine. So I'll graduate, I'll get a high paying job, and I'll pay them back for everything. Just so I can say "I don't owe you shit. So ha!"

I had to end the conversation before I said something really mean to my mother.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh!



God, and I had a really disturbing dream last night. And not even interesting. Just rather gross and unsettling.