Ficlet: The Talk. Sort of.
Jan. 5th, 2005 02:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lierdumoaThis is not the crackfic I was referring to in my last post. Just a fun conversation fic.
Title: The Talk. Sort of.
Fandom: Saiyuki
Rating: R
Pairing: 39, implied 58, implied 53
Summary: Missing scene from Non-Perishables. This will make more sense if you read that first.
A/N: Thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
boniblithe for the readthrough!
"Gojyo, I need your help. I don't know what I'm doing and...what happened to the food?"
"What, Goku?"
"The tangerines. You ate them all?"
"I left them back in the bar when you got us kicked out, remember? I didn't get to have any. At least you got to eat one. Well, I wouldn't call it eating so much as inhaling..."
...
"Gojyo?"
"You still want advice about Sanzo?"
"Of course I want advice! Why do you think I tracked you down, you stupid cockroach!"
"Blow him."
"Huh?"
"Blow. Him."
"...huh?"
"Put his dick in your mouth and suck on it."
"Am I sucking or am I blow--hey! You're making this up, aren't you?"
"Ow! Stop kicking me! No I'm not making it up! Just get his pants off, put his dick in your mouth, and suck on it. No biting. He'll like it. Trust me."
"Sounds weird."
"You've put weirder things in your mouth."
"You're really not making this up?"
"Look, you asked for my advice. That's my advice."
"How do you know he'll like it?"
"He's human. He's male. He'll like it."
"But you don't know for sure."
"Sure I do."
"How? Have you done it to him?"
"Are you kidding? Not like I haven't tried, but I get within three feet and he pulls his gun on me."
"You've tried?"
"Forget I said that."
"Gojyoooou!"
"What?"
"How do you know he won't pull his gun on me?"
"He likes you too much."
"What if he hits me with his fan?"
"Take his fan away! What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I never thought of that."
"Of blowing him?"
"No, pervert. Taking his fan away."
"Well, you're fast enough. You could probably get it out of his hand."
"You really think he'd like that?"
"Taking his fan away?"
"No, blowing him. Duh."
"I can't believe you just said "duh." Geez, how old are you? Maybe you shouldn't blow Sanzo."
"I'm older than you."
"...oh yeah."
"Still sounds weird, if you ask me."
"It's not, just put it in your mouth and move your tongue around. Keep going till he comes. Don't bite down. Try not to gag."
"Comes?"
"I thought Hakkai gave you this talk. Comes. You know. Finishes. Shoots his load. Has an orgasm."
"Ejaculates?"
"Yes! What, is that what Hakkai said?"
"Yeah."
...
"Hey, Gojyo, you're spacing out. I still don't know what gagging is."
"What? Oh, sorry. What?"
"Try not to gag?"
"Yeah, you know, gag. "
...
"Oh, right. Nevermind. Forget what I said about the gagging. Not important. Doesn't apply to you."
"You're so full of shit, Gojyo."
"I'm not full of shit."
"How do you know all this stuff anyway?"
"How do you think? I've gotten blown a few times in my day."
"By who?"
"What business is it of yours?"
"All you talk about is girls. Girls wouldn't do that."
"Girls, no. Women? Sometimes. Men...yes."
"Men?"
"Hey, look! Must be the inn we're staying at."
"Ow, stop shoving!"
"Just get in the door already!"
...
"Gojyo, stop leering at her. She already gave you the keys."
"Damn it monkey, I'm talking here!"
"Gojyoooooou!"
"Jesus, fine. I'm going, I'm going."
"Hurry up!"
"Hey, don't kick me."
"Ooooowwww, let me go!"
"I'll let you go when you stop kicking me!"
"Fine!"
"Fine! Stupid monkey. Look, we're here."
"Hey, there's only one bed."
"Give it to Hakkai. We'll sleep on the floor."
"Shouldn't we..."
"What, draw straws? He always wins."
"Gojyo."
"What? What, what, what?"
"What if Sanzo doesn't like it?"
"Do we really have to go over this again?"
"What if he wants to do something else?"
"I think fucking's a little advanced for you at this stage in your development."
"Fucking?"
"Forget I mentioned it. Sanzo'll explain it to you when you're ready."
"But Gojyo!"
"This conversation is over. I'm going to take a nap."
"But Gojyooooooou!"
"Goddamnit monkey, I am not explaining to you the mechanics of anal se...heh...Hakkai! Sanzo. We were wondering when you guys were coming back."
Title: The Talk. Sort of.
Fandom: Saiyuki
Rating: R
Pairing: 39, implied 58, implied 53
Summary: Missing scene from Non-Perishables. This will make more sense if you read that first.
A/N: Thanks to
boniblithe for the readthrough!"Gojyo, I need your help. I don't know what I'm doing and...what happened to the food?"
"What, Goku?"
"The tangerines. You ate them all?"
"I left them back in the bar when you got us kicked out, remember? I didn't get to have any. At least you got to eat one. Well, I wouldn't call it eating so much as inhaling..."
...
"Gojyo?"
"You still want advice about Sanzo?"
"Of course I want advice! Why do you think I tracked you down, you stupid cockroach!"
"Blow him."
"Huh?"
"Blow. Him."
"...huh?"
"Put his dick in your mouth and suck on it."
"Am I sucking or am I blow--hey! You're making this up, aren't you?"
"Ow! Stop kicking me! No I'm not making it up! Just get his pants off, put his dick in your mouth, and suck on it. No biting. He'll like it. Trust me."
"Sounds weird."
"You've put weirder things in your mouth."
"You're really not making this up?"
"Look, you asked for my advice. That's my advice."
"How do you know he'll like it?"
"He's human. He's male. He'll like it."
"But you don't know for sure."
"Sure I do."
"How? Have you done it to him?"
"Are you kidding? Not like I haven't tried, but I get within three feet and he pulls his gun on me."
"You've tried?"
"Forget I said that."
"Gojyoooou!"
"What?"
"How do you know he won't pull his gun on me?"
"He likes you too much."
"What if he hits me with his fan?"
"Take his fan away! What? Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I never thought of that."
"Of blowing him?"
"No, pervert. Taking his fan away."
"Well, you're fast enough. You could probably get it out of his hand."
"You really think he'd like that?"
"Taking his fan away?"
"No, blowing him. Duh."
"I can't believe you just said "duh." Geez, how old are you? Maybe you shouldn't blow Sanzo."
"I'm older than you."
"...oh yeah."
"Still sounds weird, if you ask me."
"It's not, just put it in your mouth and move your tongue around. Keep going till he comes. Don't bite down. Try not to gag."
"Comes?"
"I thought Hakkai gave you this talk. Comes. You know. Finishes. Shoots his load. Has an orgasm."
"Ejaculates?"
"Yes! What, is that what Hakkai said?"
"Yeah."
...
"Hey, Gojyo, you're spacing out. I still don't know what gagging is."
"What? Oh, sorry. What?"
"Try not to gag?"
"Yeah, you know, gag. "
...
"Oh, right. Nevermind. Forget what I said about the gagging. Not important. Doesn't apply to you."
"You're so full of shit, Gojyo."
"I'm not full of shit."
"How do you know all this stuff anyway?"
"How do you think? I've gotten blown a few times in my day."
"By who?"
"What business is it of yours?"
"All you talk about is girls. Girls wouldn't do that."
"Girls, no. Women? Sometimes. Men...yes."
"Men?"
"Hey, look! Must be the inn we're staying at."
"Ow, stop shoving!"
"Just get in the door already!"
...
"Gojyo, stop leering at her. She already gave you the keys."
"Damn it monkey, I'm talking here!"
"Gojyoooooou!"
"Jesus, fine. I'm going, I'm going."
"Hurry up!"
"Hey, don't kick me."
"Ooooowwww, let me go!"
"I'll let you go when you stop kicking me!"
"Fine!"
"Fine! Stupid monkey. Look, we're here."
"Hey, there's only one bed."
"Give it to Hakkai. We'll sleep on the floor."
"Shouldn't we..."
"What, draw straws? He always wins."
"Gojyo."
"What? What, what, what?"
"What if Sanzo doesn't like it?"
"Do we really have to go over this again?"
"What if he wants to do something else?"
"I think fucking's a little advanced for you at this stage in your development."
"Fucking?"
"Forget I mentioned it. Sanzo'll explain it to you when you're ready."
"But Gojyo!"
"This conversation is over. I'm going to take a nap."
"But Gojyooooooou!"
"Goddamnit monkey, I am not explaining to you the mechanics of anal se...heh...Hakkai! Sanzo. We were wondering when you guys were coming back."
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2005-01-05 11:17 pm (UTC)*loves*
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 07:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-05 11:18 pm (UTC)"I think fucking's a little advanced for you at this stage in your development."
WHY?? Why stop here? Gojyo was born to give others sex talks, I can see it clearly now. Actually, the perfect arrangement would be for him to work together with Hakkai, so they could supplement each other...
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 12:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 12:33 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 03:50 am (UTC)http://adultfan.nexcess.net/aff/story.php?no=24568
and thank you for the icon love! made it meself =D
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 07:33 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you enjoyed this! I had a lot of fun writing it!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 12:55 am (UTC)Loved the part where Goku didn't seem to understand the concept of gagging. *cackles*
<33333
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Date: 2005-01-06 07:38 pm (UTC)And yes, the lack of gagging. I want to tell everybody. This is why the world needs more Goku porn.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 04:58 am (UTC)"He's human. He's male. He'll like it."
that about sums it up! *giggles*
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 07:39 pm (UTC)XD
Doesn't it, though?
Thanks for commenting!
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 08:41 am (UTC)It's pretty funny on its own, too! XD
no subject
Date: 2005-01-06 07:42 pm (UTC)I figured it would probably work on it's own, but I put the warning up because I really did want people to read the other fic first. It kind of spoils the ending of Non-Perishables if you're already expecting Goku to deepthroat on his first try.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 02:06 am (UTC)"He's human. He's male. He'll like it."
*snicker*
So funny!
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Date: 2005-01-07 05:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 06:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 06:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 09:33 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-07 10:27 pm (UTC)Do you have instant messenger?
no subject
Date: 2005-01-09 01:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-17 12:21 pm (UTC)Omg.. that was gooood. And thank you for the link to "Non-Perishibles".
These 2 pieces are perfectly hysterical.. in a very hot sexy way.
no subject
Date: 2005-01-17 07:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-25 06:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-01-26 12:39 am (UTC)...eventually.
no subject
Date: 2005-05-18 02:04 am (UTC)//""Are you kidding? Not like I haven't tried, but I get within three feet and he pulls his gun on me." // "You've tried?" //"Forget I said that.""// *SNERK*
You've got a way with words that I adore. So loving this. *spaces out dreamily*
no subject
Date: 2005-05-21 07:41 pm (UTC)I love writing dialogue. Except when I feel I don't know the characters well enough -- then writing dialogue is hell. Gojyo/Goku banter flows easily for me because the two of them are so straightforward with each other.