Vidtalk!

[lierdumoa]

There have been discussions going around my flist lately about vidding motivations, intended audience, etc. Here's my two cents. Well more like twenty bucks, because I'm long winded, but you get what I'm saying.

There are lots of reasons I vid. Part of it's community. Most of it, though, is probably ambition. See, I hit a wall in fanfiction. I just didn't have the energy or focus to write 98,000 word fics that changed peoples lives 4 EVA OMG. Loved reading them. I know I'm a good writer. I'm proud of the writing I've done. However, I seriously doubt any of my fic could be considered among anyone's favorites. What's a lot of writing for me is less than a day's worth for some of the fic writers I know.

Vidding was a twofold revelation for me. First, when I realized that vids could affect me emotionally just as much as fic. Vids could make me cry, or laugh. I could get addicted to watching vids just like I got addicted to reading fic. The second revelation came later, when I realized that -- hey I'm actually good at this. When I got my bootlegged copy of Premiere and learned about keyframes and realized that I no longer had to sit back and wish I could make vids like The Greats. I could actually make them. Okay, so I had to go over about 6 learning curves, but I'd get there eventually. The point was that there was no wall.

There's the wholesome part of me that just wants to put out quality product. The Good Vidder. GV loves her source and wants to do it justice, and was maybe a little hurt on TF&TF's behalf when two people told her they thought her vid was better than the movie. GV wants to share what she feels because she loves it when people share what they feel with her. GV vids more for other people than for herself. She loves feedback and feels guilty when she forgets to respond to it. She loves detailed feedback more than anything in the world, even if she's sometimes too lazy to give it. GV takes criticism well. GV feels motherly towards beginner vidders and wants to help them help themselves. GV loves reading vid meta because it reminds her that she's not alone, and when she can't read it, she writes it in the hopes that her poor foolish insights will be useful to people other than her.

Then there's the other part of me. The Ambitous Psycho. The AP loves a good mindfuck and doesn't care what people think of her so long as she can make people think. The AP vids because she wants to say things no one's said before, and if someone has said it before, she wants to say it better. The AP vids to win, and her greatest competitor is herself because, well, she's a psycho with multiple personalities. The AP doesn't think she's a better vidder than everyone. She does, however, think she's better than the majority. She's a multifandom elitist bitch vidder, and the only reason she doesn't have the icon ( ^(c)heres_luck ) is because as far as she's concerned, it goes without saying. The AP hates vidding sometimes, but she's not about to let a little depression/eye strain/insomnia stop her from rewriting the fandom paradigm. The AP is full of shit, but unlike most people who are full of shit, she's got just enough talent to get away with it at least 50% of the time. Which is fine by her really -- the AP would rather fail in making an incredible vid than succeed in making a pretty good vid. She'd rather be interesting than popular, because even if popular does get you laid more, vanilla sex gets so boring after a while.

Oh, surely you didn't think I was going to go through this entire post without at least one sexual metaphor.

;-)



In unrelated news, I finally figured out a title for crackfic: Full Circle. I'll start referring to it by that name now.

Comments

[khaleesian.livejournal.com]

Heheheheehee, I love your Janus-faced vidder metaphor. Plus this:

She'd rather be interesting than popular, because even if popular does get you laid more, vanilla sex gets so boring after a while.

As someone once said to me, you may go to hell for loving slash...but that line just got you a better table.

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

XD

Oh, you won't go to hell for loving slash. Might go to jail for vidding, though. ;-)

[laurashapiro.livejournal.com]

I love your multiple vidding personalities. (: They look sort of familiar to me, too, like I may have seen them knocking about my own brain from time to time.

[lierdumoa.livejournal.com]

Hee! Yes. My artistic sensibilities mixing with my community love mixing with my competitiveness. I was hoping people'd be able to relate.