wip amnesty weekend
Feb. 6th, 2005 07:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lierdumoaFandom:Angel: The Series
Pairing: Angel(us)/Spike
Summary: Contemplations of a relationship.
A/N: These notes probably make no sense, and look more like a half-written bad!fic than notes. I was eventually going to organize them into something coherent and not crap-assed. This was for that annual Picture Is Worth 1000 Words challenge I signed up for, only I'm a horrible person and I ended up never writing it.
Circumstances of Death: Total and utter lazyness.
"I hate you Spike." Angel says it all the time. Practice makes perfect, after all. It doesn't even hurt much anymore -- he's grown numb.
Wolfram & Hart was famous for it's collections. They housed so many
Angelus had always been a bit obsessed with the supernatural -- far more than the average vampire. Even as a human he had believed in wishbones and rabbits' feet, despite his Irish Catholic upbringing. He'd read all the prophesies and gone to many a fortune teller in the hopes of getting the better of fate. It had been part of the reason he'd turned Drusilla. Oh, she'd been a bit of fun to break, and she'd been pretty enough, and a bit of teaching she'd made a brilliant fuck. But the only real reason Angelus had bothered to keep her around was her gift of sight.
obsession with supernatural leads to turning of dru; maybe this won't work so well
"Of all the things I did as Angelus, she was the worst" (The quote goes something like this -- it's from some episode in season 2, I think)
in the beginning, dru adored angelus more than anything, it seemed; he taught her to like pain; love pain; love him -- almost purely, innocently -- as much of a contradiction as that was; angelus broke her perfectly, so perfectly and completely she had no sanity left; and of course, he grew bored with her; he grew bored with her purity, and then with her insanity, and finally even her gift of sight was more of an annoyance than anything else, as hardly anything she said ever made any sense
and perhaps she sensed his waning interest in her; surely after he had destroyed her world and made himself her everything, she would have sensed the way he had begun to scorn her devotion; and of course, she was too much a possession of his to do anything less than love him even more desperately, for all his disinterest; but perhaps a part of her had hated him; perhaps a part of her had hated him, but simply wasn't free to express that hatred in any sort of conventional manner; perhaps she had begun to hate him and had yet been unable to acknowledge that hatred herself, and yet "hell hath no fury..."
it was really the only assumption angel could make, for what other explanation was there for william; beautiful william; innocent william; just like dru had been, william had been as delicate and as sweet; angelus wanted william as much as he had ever wanted dru, and dru must have known that he would have; the evil little witch had her insights into everything; *everything*; so she must have known how angelus would have wanted him
and perhaps Angelus had at first assumed that william was meant as a gift for him from his utterly devoted dru; she often brought him gifts that he feigned interest in before tossing away; a daintily dressed meal, a pocketwatch, a cravat; a christmas ornament, a globe of glass on a false gold mount; pretty but breakable, for angelus so liked to break things; yes perhaps angelus had assumed that this william was only but another gift
and dru had claimed that there was something so special about this william, so very unique; he had no powers to speak of; he was but a weakling; so very pathetic; or so angelus had thought -- nothing as special as dru claimed; just another pretty thing to break
but he learned the difference; because william didn't break; nothing could break him; and angelus even began to see that, perhaps -- see that there was something in this william; something in him that was better *whole*; and angelus had begun to want him *whole* and not broken; for drusilla had known that in between all the burning baby fish was something in this man that was worth preserving; and drusilla had known something else -- that william would be hers; hers; hers
not his
pretty, pretty william that stretched without splintering; and angelus had found himself becoming utterly pathetic in attempts to force the boy's devotion; that brief time in sunnydale when he'd taken dru into his bed -- "How can you love her? See how she cleaves to me? She will never be yours. She can never be as worthy of your devotion as I can be"; see how I tower, a giant among men
and the response -- william's response; I see you angelus, standing on your false gold mount, bright and gleaming as a god; but nothing more, really, than a globe of glass; breaking things with such ease that all who see you will think you unbreakable
and angel looks at spike and sees the scorn in his eyes; it is enough to elicit a wince; and he thinks "I am sorry I ever made you, drusilla"
I'm so sorry
Pairing: Angel(us)/Spike
Summary: Contemplations of a relationship.
A/N: These notes probably make no sense, and look more like a half-written bad!fic than notes. I was eventually going to organize them into something coherent and not crap-assed. This was for that annual Picture Is Worth 1000 Words challenge I signed up for, only I'm a horrible person and I ended up never writing it.
Circumstances of Death: Total and utter lazyness.
"I hate you Spike." Angel says it all the time. Practice makes perfect, after all. It doesn't even hurt much anymore -- he's grown numb.
Wolfram & Hart was famous for it's collections. They housed so many
Angelus had always been a bit obsessed with the supernatural -- far more than the average vampire. Even as a human he had believed in wishbones and rabbits' feet, despite his Irish Catholic upbringing. He'd read all the prophesies and gone to many a fortune teller in the hopes of getting the better of fate. It had been part of the reason he'd turned Drusilla. Oh, she'd been a bit of fun to break, and she'd been pretty enough, and a bit of teaching she'd made a brilliant fuck. But the only real reason Angelus had bothered to keep her around was her gift of sight.
obsession with supernatural leads to turning of dru; maybe this won't work so well
"Of all the things I did as Angelus, she was the worst" (The quote goes something like this -- it's from some episode in season 2, I think)
in the beginning, dru adored angelus more than anything, it seemed; he taught her to like pain; love pain; love him -- almost purely, innocently -- as much of a contradiction as that was; angelus broke her perfectly, so perfectly and completely she had no sanity left; and of course, he grew bored with her; he grew bored with her purity, and then with her insanity, and finally even her gift of sight was more of an annoyance than anything else, as hardly anything she said ever made any sense
and perhaps she sensed his waning interest in her; surely after he had destroyed her world and made himself her everything, she would have sensed the way he had begun to scorn her devotion; and of course, she was too much a possession of his to do anything less than love him even more desperately, for all his disinterest; but perhaps a part of her had hated him; perhaps a part of her had hated him, but simply wasn't free to express that hatred in any sort of conventional manner; perhaps she had begun to hate him and had yet been unable to acknowledge that hatred herself, and yet "hell hath no fury..."
it was really the only assumption angel could make, for what other explanation was there for william; beautiful william; innocent william; just like dru had been, william had been as delicate and as sweet; angelus wanted william as much as he had ever wanted dru, and dru must have known that he would have; the evil little witch had her insights into everything; *everything*; so she must have known how angelus would have wanted him
and perhaps Angelus had at first assumed that william was meant as a gift for him from his utterly devoted dru; she often brought him gifts that he feigned interest in before tossing away; a daintily dressed meal, a pocketwatch, a cravat; a christmas ornament, a globe of glass on a false gold mount; pretty but breakable, for angelus so liked to break things; yes perhaps angelus had assumed that this william was only but another gift
and dru had claimed that there was something so special about this william, so very unique; he had no powers to speak of; he was but a weakling; so very pathetic; or so angelus had thought -- nothing as special as dru claimed; just another pretty thing to break
but he learned the difference; because william didn't break; nothing could break him; and angelus even began to see that, perhaps -- see that there was something in this william; something in him that was better *whole*; and angelus had begun to want him *whole* and not broken; for drusilla had known that in between all the burning baby fish was something in this man that was worth preserving; and drusilla had known something else -- that william would be hers; hers; hers
not his
pretty, pretty william that stretched without splintering; and angelus had found himself becoming utterly pathetic in attempts to force the boy's devotion; that brief time in sunnydale when he'd taken dru into his bed -- "How can you love her? See how she cleaves to me? She will never be yours. She can never be as worthy of your devotion as I can be"; see how I tower, a giant among men
and the response -- william's response; I see you angelus, standing on your false gold mount, bright and gleaming as a god; but nothing more, really, than a globe of glass; breaking things with such ease that all who see you will think you unbreakable
and angel looks at spike and sees the scorn in his eyes; it is enough to elicit a wince; and he thinks "I am sorry I ever made you, drusilla"
I'm so sorry
