God, I wish I had time to write this.

[lierdumoa]

lierdumoa: Hermiod is such a bitter bitter temp who hates his crappy temp job
lierdumoa: now I want an Office Space AU
fashes: 'splain?
lierdumoa: with Hermiod sitting at a desk all day
fashes: HEE!!!
lierdumoa: going "Corporate accounts payable, Nina speaking."
lierdumoa: "Just a mooooment."
fashes: I... don't know Hermiod's voice.
lierdumoa: and Rodney
lierdumoa: refusing to wear his twenty motherfucking pieces of flair
fashes: DUDE. Can Hermiod be the stapler guy?
fashes: or SHOULD THAT BE SAM CARTER OMG!!!
lierdumoa: but I want him to be Nina
lierdumoa: saying her one line
fashes: I don't know who Nina is.
lierdumoa: that she says over and over and it's her only line in the entire movie
fashes: clearly we need to watch this movie. like NEXT
lierdumoa: yes, clearly
lierdumoa: stapler guy
lierdumoa: is totally whatsisface
lierdumoa: that they picked up in "Condemned" and took home with them
lierdumoa: and then we never saw him again
lierdumoa: no one even remembers his name
lierdumoa: they moved him to an office in the basement
fashes: no no, it has to be a main-ish character
fashes: but he BURNED THE BUILDING DOWN WITH HIS BITTER BITTER RAGE
fashes: ::wants it to be sam carter like A BURNING BUILDING ON FIRE::
lierdumoa: but it works with canon
lierdumoa: he's standing at the back of the gateroom and the camera just manages to swivel around him
fashes: You have to talk me out of the Sam Carter first.
fashes: b'c I'm fixated.
fashes: I just want to watch her squirm and twitch all over her fucking stapler.
lierdumoa: dude, no
lierdumoa: Sam Carter is the guy
lierdumoa: who hired Rodney
lierdumoa: and keeps trying ot make him wear his twenty motherfucking pieces of flair
fashes: Oh, okay that works.
fashes: I know what'shisname can't be Sam Carter b'c I covet that stapler and there's no way I'm coveting anything Sam Carter did.
fashes: Just... NO.
lierdumoa: yes, you see?
lierdumoa: trust me and my tricksy brain
fashes: I know... you just weren't explaining it to me. which you were supposed to do the *first* time I said it. So I asked for clarification.
fashes: I trust you.
lierdumoa: oh, dude
lierdumoa: who are the Bobs
fashes: hmm
fashes: Well John is... the guy, right?
lierdumoa: yes, clearly
fashes: the Bobs would have to be Ancients
fashes: nobody loves John but the Ancients
lierdumoa: no, because the guy totally high fives the Bob's
lierdumoa: John would not high five Ancients
lierdumoa: evaromg
lierdumoa: they have greasy cooties
fashes: WHILE HE NOT SO SEKRITLY HATES THEM
fashes: *HATES*
fashes: and thinks they're stewpid
lierdumoa: see, but no
lierdumoa: the guy?
lierdumoa: never cared enough about the bobs to hate them
fashes: Peter is the guy's name
fashes: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0151804/
fashes: But he thinks they're stewpid... hmm
fashes: But nobody loves John that much and thinks he's awesome!
lierdumoa: Laden
lierdumoa: and Colm Meany
fashes: Who what?
lierdumoa: but mostly Laden
lierdumoa: the Genii guy, who's all -- hey, now that I overthrew the gov't, lets be friends?
fashes: and Lumbergh is Skinner, yes?
fashes: ah!
lierdumoa: no? okay, what about your buddies Ronon and Teyla
fashes: and who's Colm Meany?
lierdumoa: that other Genii
lierdumoa: I'm just trying to think of another person to go with Laden
fashes: OMG DUDE.... THE GUY WITH THE MAGICAL POWERS...
fashes: WHO IS ALWAYS ANNOYING... "Irresistable" guy
lierdumoa: Laden and Annoying
fashes: He needs to be there.
fashes: wait why does Laden get a somebody? Wasn't he solo?
fashes: and all John's bosses should be military
lierdumoa: Laden and Annoying as the two Bob's
fashes: oh! right!
fashes: I meant Lumbergh and confused myself entirely
fashes: moving on.
lierdumoa: OMG RIGHT HIS NAME IS LUCIOUS
lierdumoa: LADEN AND LUCIOUS
lierdumoa: THEIR NAMES EVEN START WITH THE SAME LETTER
fashes: Lucious?
fashes: LOL
fashes: OMG THEY DO
lierdumoa: Lucius, rather
fashes: IT IS FATE
lierdumoa: Laden and Lucius Lovin
fashes: b'c dude!! Lucius thinks JOHN IS TEH AWESOME ROXORS!!
fashes: so Ronon is Michael Bolton let's be clear.
fashes: I just can't not pass that up.
fashes: And Teyla is Samir unpronouncablelastname
lierdumoa: YES OMG
fashes: and loses her shit and BEATS THE FAX MACHINE TO GANGSTA RAP
fashes: BEATS IT
lierdumoa: THE GANGSTA RAP THAT MICHAEL BOLTON LISTENS TO
fashes: YES, THAT WAS UNSPOKEN
fashes: and Kavenaugh is Rodney's annoying co-worker with NINEMILLION PEICES OF FLARE
lierdumoa: I thought that was Sam Carter
fashes: do we really want her to play in our shiny Office Space place?
lierdumoa: Kavanagh's not cheerful enough
fashes: Mmmm, *point*
lierdumoa: I want Kavanagh to be the guy with the "o" face
fashes: OH GOD
fashes: but... that kind of... Lorne?
fashes: did we settle on Skinner as Lumbergh?
fashes: b'c all of John's co-workers should be military/mission goers. Right?
lierdumoa: who's Elizabeth?
lierdumoa: she needs to be somebody awesome
fashes: SHE IS THE CRAZY NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOR
fashes: WHO WORKS CONSTRUCTION
fashes: *Lawrence*
lierdumoa: TWO CHICKS AT THE SAME TIME
fashes: THE. SAME. TIME.
fashes: OMG WE ARE SO AWESOME
fashes: ok so you have to show me who Milton is supposed to be.
fashes: stapler guy
lierdumoa: but I still want him to be the guy they picked up from "Condemned"
lierdumoa: since he does actually in fact live in the Atlantis basement
fashes: right, I have no idea who that is
lierdumoa: the prison planet episode
fashes: OH RIGHT
fashes: THE LITTLE GEEKY DUDE WHO WE NEVER SAW EVER AGAIN
lierdumoa: and nobody remembers his name
fashes: clearly
lierdumoa: like, not even the Replicators knew he was there
fashes: such was his basement encampment
fashes: there isn't really a place for Zelenka is there?
fashes: OH GOD CARSON?
lierdumoa: Zelenka
lierdumoa: is whatsisface
lierdumoa: the black guy
lierdumoa: selling magazine subscriptions
fashes: OH RIGHT
fashes: AND MAKING BANK
lierdumoa: yes
fashes: ORLANDO JONES
fashes: THE 7UP GUY
lierdumoa: YES, HIM
fashes: does Carson have to be the hypnotherapist?
fashes: Carson can be Peggy?
fashes: Lumbergh's secretary...
lierdumoa: of course Carson has to be the hypnotherapist
fashes: dammit
lierdumoa: remember that means he DIES AT THE BEGINNING OF THE STORY
fashes: NO I DO NOT REMEMBER THIS IMPORTANT DETAIL
fashes: CLEARLY
lierdumoa: HE HAS A HEART ATTACK
fashes: ::FLAILS::
lierdumoa: THAT'S WHY THE MAIN CHARACTER NEVER GETS UN-HYPNOTIZED
fashes: THIS IS THE MOSE AWESOME AU EVER!!!!
fashes: OMG WHO'S TOM?
fashes: THE GUY WHO *HATES* AND THEN GETS HIT BY A CAR AND IS A GAZILLIONAIRE?
fashes: AND THROWS A PARTY!!!
fashes: omg ONEEEEEEEIL!!!!
fashes: All RIDICULOUSLY HAPPY in his body cast and wheelchair
lierdumoa: dude, and you know how the movies starts w/ Michael Bolton blasting hip hop on the drive to work and then lowering the volume when other cars drive by?
fashes: no dude I seriously don't remember this movie
lierdumoa: the story should start with Ronon listening to Michael Bolton and lowering the volume when other cars drive by
fashes: LOL
fashes: OH GOD
fashes: so trixy you are
fashes: Can Tom Smykowski be O'Neil?
lierdumoa: sure
fashes: yee!
lierdumoa: so John's bosses are Caldwell, Landry and Woolsey methinks
fashes: I mean it works... bitter bitter overworked and no fun O'Neil WINS LOTS OF MONEY AND JUST GETS TO GO FISHING ALL THE TIME NOW
fashes: YIS. Those are the annoying ones
fashes: well not Landry so much, but whatever
fashes: well WE don't hate Landry but John probably does
lierdumoa: well Caldwell's not really annoying either
fashes: from John's POV
lierdumoa: Woolsey is the one who keeps coming around asking for TPS reports
fashes: yessssssssssssssssssssssssssss
fashes: dude we are so mind meld
lierdumoa: and John thinks Rodney had sex with Woolsey, but it was totally Cam Mitchell
fashes: OH GOD B'C CAM IS JUST THAT HOT
fashes: but clearly it should be Caldwell since he's Lumbergh.
lierdumoa: but I thought Woolsey was Lumbergh
lierdumoa: isn't that the one who keeps asking for the TPS reports?
fashes: Well that was *your* idea... oh... RIGHT
fashes: There's another guy who comes over asking for TPS reports and I thought... whatever I forgot Lumberg was the TPS h0r
fashes: I still want Caldwell to be Lumberg b'c he has the most direct contact and... skinner fucking somebody with that coffee mug in his hand just... makes me smile a lot
fashes: and Woolsey can't pull off that.... quiet droll and slowness. he's too hyper animated all the time
lierdumoa: it can be Caldwell then, I'm not married to the other idea
fashes: so good to me.



The Cast (incomplete):

John Sheppard .... Peter Gibbons
Rodney McKay .... Joanna
Ronon Dex .... Michael Bolton
Teyla Emmagen .... Samir Nagheenanajar
Elizabeth Weir .... Lawrence
that guy from "Condemned" .... Milton Waddams
Stephen Caldwell .... Bill Lumbergh
Jack O'Neill .... Tom Smykowski
Lucius & Laden .... the Bobs
Hermiod .... Nina
Samantha Carter .... Brian, Chotchkie's Waiter
Nicholas Lorne .... Drew
Carson Beckett .... Dr. Swanson
Radek Zelenka .... Steve, Magazine Salesman
Richard Woolsey .... Boss #2, whose name I can't remember
General Landry .... Boss #3, whose name I also can't remember