Life's a Party

Pete/Patrick overload, MAKE IT STOP. No seriously, I read probably close to a novel or two worth of bandslash last night. Pet peeve of the day. People who do not tag. Don't you know your journals only exist to service me?!? And I've still only bothered to find out which one is Pete and which one is Patrick. Ryan who? It's like my early forays into due South.


Speaking of which, adrienne2 pointed out to me the other night that Ray Kowalski does not use contractions, to a ridiculous degree. Much like season 1 Teyla. Her language started corrupting after that, not that anyone who writes Teyla dialogue in the fandom actually noticed this—hell, people still think Ronon doesn't use contractions, which just adds fodder to my theory that 80% of SGA fandom doesn't actually watch the show.

No, seriously ppl. Simpson doesn't work there anymore. We haven't seen her since 1.04. There are other, hotter female scientists you could be writing.

I haven't been reading much SGA lately. Okay, that's a lie. I just haven't been liking most of what I've read, which then leads to my not finishing stories/blocking them out afterwards. There is way, way, way too much BDSM in this fandom.

And the tiny hand fic will be a scar on my brain forevermore. You know the one. Don't pretend you don't.


My SGA fic is progressing apace. I'm pretty sure it's the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written, up to and including the time I wrote a masturbation scene with a genderswapped Rodney and everyone kept telling me how realistic it was. Yeah, I still can't believe that actually happened.

The people telling me it was realistic. Not the writing of it. I would totally write crap like that. That is so me. Thank your stars my laziness spared you the period sex.


No, no, this post doesn't have a point.

So I was wondering today where all the shiny happy crack came from. Which is to say, I grew up on crack, and it was neither shiny nor happy. Well, okay, blood is shiny, and sometimes morbidly funny. And talking penises glisten with precum as we all know. It's the second thing you learn from Smallville fanfiction, right after "the age of consent in Kansas is 16."

Where was I?

Right. So one woman had a theory that the "state of crackfic today" is all at the fault of anime fandom. Blame them all for the wingfic and the chibis and the characters that randomly turn into penguins, isn't it cuuuuuuuute?!? I wonder what the hell kind of anime these people were into. My anime never had wings. Okay, it had chibis. It also had ninjas and pirates and genderfuck and incest and mass murder. Multiple instances of mass murder. I don't know where this picture of anime as shiny happy crack came from. STOP READING GRAVITATION, ALL OF YOU.

Where was I?

So I was clipping for my Weir vid today. And staring at one of my crackfic. The one where Rodney gets turned into a wraith and then impregnates a hive queen. Well, actually it would be more accurate to say a hive queen decides to use him for breeding purposes and he goes along with it because he doesn't want to die. Also, she's blonde, so whatevs.

I know what you're thinking, and I was completely sober when I came up with this. In fact, I've only written one story drunk, and it wasn't even that crack-y.

Where was I?

This month, as it turned out, was the month of invisible PMS. No cramps, no moodiness, no nothing. I know what you're thinking. "Good for you!...h0r." But here is the downside of invisible PMS. The stain you get when your period starts with *no warning whatsoever* after you get to the subway station, just as you finish sliding your ticket through.

Luckily the stain did not go through the clothing. Yet another benefit of the unshaven pussy.

You know, sometimes I wonder if I should cut tag these things. But I never do.


And, since everyone else is doing it -- ask me for a fannish 5 Things list (i.e. five times Elizabeth Weir just said no to drugs). SGA, SPN. Oh, what the hell. Prison Break too.


ETA: You know how long I've been waiting for the right post to use this icon? ::laughs self sick::